I'm On a Boat Thread

Unread post by **Plastic Jesus** » 29 Apr 2009, 08:02

Like it sounds motherfucker

Post some funny shit, with either you on a boat or someone else, or something funny about a boat, being on it, or sex with mermaids.

Check out Wamp Rats bellow with his kick ass bass boat.

Unread post by **Divine Fate** » 29 Apr 2009, 09:26

Wamp Rats, you won't have sex with a mermaid if that's your boat, I'm afraid.

Unread post by **Sastora** » 29 Apr 2009, 09:28

Is having sex with a mermaid even possible?

Unread post by **MrKerplunkers** » 29 Apr 2009, 09:30

One way to find out...

Unread post by **Sastora** » 29 Apr 2009, 09:31

Wait, what?

Unread post by **Divine Fate** » 29 Apr 2009, 09:36

MrKerplunkers wrote:One way to find out...

Just ask T-Pain

.

Unread post by **excalibur** » 29 Apr 2009, 11:18

haha divine

Quoting T-Pain : Believe me when I sayyyyyy... I ****ed a mermaidddddddd

I love how T-Pain makes everything sounds cool

"Mermayyayayayadddd oh whoaaaaaa whoaaa"

Unread post by **g_e_oos** » 29 Apr 2009, 11:41

Am I the only one who doesn't like this or any of the music videos with that guy from snl?

Unread post by **captainAngry** » 30 Apr 2009, 08:43

Yes, yes you are. I don't much like the boat song but the Space Olympics song is awesome and underrated.

Unread post by **Wamp Rats** » 30 Apr 2009, 03:52

Damnit, you woudln't believe how many mermaids i get with that boat

Unread post by **Original** » 30 Apr 2009, 06:55

Sastora wrote:Is having sex with a mermaid even possible?

Depends on your what definition of 'sex' is.

Kissing, holding hands...

Mild stroking and coddleing ?

Dry humping (or in the case of mermaids 'wet humping').

Foot/fin fetishes.

Of course insemination is always difficult but not undoable. It's just that human males don't have the sperm production needed to get the job done well in strong currents.
So I suggest finding a quite pool of water free of nibblers (little fish that tend to nibble on anything that protrudes from anywhere) and swallows (those little sea bearing birds). No need to worry about spitting fish. If you really want to get the job done you might think about having a 'pool party' with some of you clostest guys friends (usually ones with tight lips are best as you don't want people to hear rumors that you 'sleep with the fishes', that can lead to speculations of involvement with lesbians or gangsters which is good or bad depending on where you are from).

But for you Sas, we're talking Mermen. Now the problem is once again water flow, and you probably want to keep your head above water first off.
The problem here is that to compensate for strong currents mermen have a very strong sperm production, and when they start to spawn it can be very intimidating. Thus leading the human female into fits of screaming, gasping and general confusion. This in hand often leads to shrinkage on the Merman's part, and seeing how they are born with a fish tail they have pretty low self esteem. This has scientifically been the major concern for the Mer species eventual extinction.
After the job is done I recommend a shower.

Of course sex with any speicies should not be taken lightly and your partners feelings should always be taken into consideration. In this case surf/turf specials might not be the way to go. Maybe test the waters so to speak with a vegetarian restaraunt. Rent movies like Free Willy and Splash that show your compasion for the land challanged, but avoid movies like Jaws where fish are the bad guys.

And don't forget protection. Old Wives tales of having sex in water don't work, in this case it actually helps the process along.

Unread post by **captainAngry** » 30 Apr 2009, 07:24

This is one of the oddest posts I have ever read....

Want to join calculated chaos?

Unread post by **D34THSPAWN** » 30 Apr 2009, 10:07

captainangry wrote:This is one of the oddest posts I have ever read....

Want to join calculated chaos?

That is the most appropriate reaction i think could have been said...it was also total fucking win

Unread post by **Liquid Death** » 30 Apr 2009, 10:21

Well it wouldn't work out that well, because a merman/mermaid would probably be more like this.

Unread post by **Plastic Jesus** » 01 May 2009, 07:31

There are a lot of people in the world with very serious problems.

It's a good thing that they are still funny

Unread post by **Plastic Jesus** » 01 May 2009, 07:40

LOL I love it, there is a wiki article about this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mermaid_problem

Unread post by **Plastic Jesus** » 01 May 2009, 07:48

I'm on a boat!

... can I please have some food, may be a job, please my people and country are very poor.

Unread post by **Plastic Jesus** » 01 May 2009, 08:11

You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat!

As you can see, this is my new favorite thread, I am so please with myself.

And WTF is going to happen when that dude fires that .50cal omg!!!!

Unread post by **steiner949** » 01 May 2009, 09:04

What, just because you see a man with a .50 CAL doesn't mean he is trying to kill someone. He just wants to feed his family and can't seem to get the hang of deep sea fishing. Because you know that if you can't use a line to catch a Marlin or a Shark, you use a .50 CAL to get the job done!

Unread post by **Original** » 01 May 2009, 11:10

captainangry wrote:This is one of the oddest posts I have ever read....

Want to join calculated chaos?

YES!

That pirate has played TF2 too long, he actually thinks he is a heavy! where's his Sandvich?

The thing with that coast guard is the pic is all backwards. When he fires that thing he moves backwards, he uses the laser device in his other hand to shoot boats down.

Unread post by **Plastic Jesus** » 01 May 2009, 11:26

BTW, that dude has about 1 and a half scond's worth of ammo there.

Unread post by **steiner949** » 01 May 2009, 11:39

Yeah, but what he is not showing is that he has an endless ammo drum up his ass...

Unread post by **Plastic Jesus** » 01 May 2009, 11:43

I'm riding on a dolpin! Doing flips and shit! The Dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet!
But this aint Sea World, this as real as it gets!

Life is never what it promises!

Unread post by **Divine Fate** » 01 May 2009, 11:48

Is he at Sea World?

Also, I developed a karaoke for this song. Go wild.

Unread post by **arkawn** » 01 May 2009, 07:22

Plastic Jesus wrote:LOL I love it, there is a wiki article about this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mermaid_problem

Mermaid Problem In Popular Culture

* In the Lonely Island's hit song, I'm on a Boat, artist T-Pain claims to have had sexual intercourse with a mermaid, although he does not disclose how it was done.
well shit T-Pain

Unread post by **MrKerplunkers** » 01 May 2009, 08:16

Plastic Jesus wrote: And WTF is going to happen when that dude fires that .50cal omg!!!!

Newtons 3rd law of motion.
An explanation on what boats are.

Unread post by **D34THSPAWN** » 01 May 2009, 08:35

whats with all you people and uncyclopedia...NSFW: Click to View

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com

is way better

Unread post by **Plastic Jesus** » 01 May 2009, 08:58

I'm gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow!!!

I'm on a boat motherfucker!

Unread post by **Liquid Death** » 22 Sep 2009, 11:38

I'M ON A BUMP

Unread post by **Joe's Crab Shack** » 22 Sep 2009, 11:46

Sastora wrote:Is having sex with a mermaid even possible?

Well if Futurama's information is accurate, the female mermaid lays her eggs, and then the male (merman) fertilizes them. So no sex in the equation.

calculatedChaos Gaming

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