The Calculated Chaos Christmas Special

[Guy Montag]

As is required by everything on TV, we need a christmas special. According to group consensus, ours will go roughly like this:

Wamp Rat's Horrible Christmas Adventure

The premise is the species-confused Wamp Rats is feeling down after Captain tells him he can't get the password for the Holiday Server until he discovers the true meaning of Christmas. Even worse, immediately after Riftoff tells him that furries can't celebrate Christmas, as santa claus totally hates furries. Determined to reject this, Wamp decides to try and figure out Christmas for himself.

As he considers and brainstorms each possible interpretation of the holiday, he asks various clan members for confirmation on what idea he's come up with. Invariably, they call him a fag/idiot/lolololfurry, possibly singing a song about something loosely Christmas related in the process.

Eventually, Wamp Rats discovers not the meaning of Christmas, but that nobody knows it and that he was just being trolled.

Post your ideas/Christmas song here.

[Liquid Death]

Going on your idea, here are some additions.
[spoiler]At least some of it takes place on the snowfort map. Wamp is a heavy. The scouts are Santa's elves. We might be able to mix some stuff from Gmod in for things we could not otherwise do ingame.
(Probably be edited later)[/spoiler]

[spoiler]More stupid ideas here[/spoiler]

I could see a Christmas special about furry discrimination.

Here are some skins that MIGHT be useful for a winter/snowy setting
http://www.fpsbanana.com/skins/39220
http://www.fpsbanana.com/skins/77882
http://www.fpsbanana.com/skins/77872

[Toastyking]

All yeh need is a wrench

[Wamp Rats]

Guy what the fuck are you smoking

[Toastyking]

Anyway, Wamp there was a very large discussion about the cC christmas special, they decided you would be the best for a confused main character.

[Sastora]

He-He. Indeed there was.

[Wamp Rats]

Seriously? *sigh*

Fine, I'll do it

[thedoghouse]

Seriously? *sigh*

Fine, I'll do it

face it wamp, you love all the attention

[Wamp Rats]

I would enjoy it if it wasn't saying that I'm a confused child.

[Joe's Crab Shack]

I propose that all the females of the clan adorn santa hats and skimpy matching skirts while singing "All i want for Christmas" in unison.

[Sastora]

Ha-ha Ha-ha, no.

[PhrozenFlame]

How bout some miniskirts then?

[Joe's Crab Shack]

Ha-ha Ha-ha, no.

How about some reindeer cosplay then?

Some cute little ears, a fluffy tail, in addition to the aforementioned skimpy dress of course.

[Wamp Rats]

I'm gonna have to say yes to the reindeers

[[DAWN]HellFire]

achem...well then

[PhrozenFlame]

/demands a vote

[MrKerplunkers]

You know what says Christmas? Korean metal of course

[Guy Montag]

Wamp: We chose you because I asked "Who's the most like Charlie Brown?"

Crab Shack: For fuck's sakes, take the goddamn 'trial' out of your name and be forward about it. Also, in regards to the whole reindeer thing, I am hoping we manage to go throughout all of this without fursuits.

UPDATE: Our expert writer, Riftoff, has agreed to write the script for the Wamp's Terrible Christmas Adventure (working title). Although thinking of clever songs to capture the true spirit of this gaming community will be tough, I have the utmost of confidence in him after reading his fanfiction.

[g_e_oos]

You could probably get Hurtme and Hanzo to do the music. Both are pretty talented.

[Riftoff]

Wall o' text but this is the terrible written-in-steamchat early first draft of the first chapter.

Code: Select all

C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S    Error: bad password. "Why can't I join the main server?" Wamp Rats exclaimed to himself as he typed another password into the entry box. F-U-C-K-Y-O-U    Error: bad password. "Motherfuck. Maybe I should ask Capt. Angry" Wamp Rats brought up his steam menu. He clicks on Angry's name and sends a VERY strongly worded message to him. "WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I JOIN THE SERVER?" Angry responds, "Caps lol" Angry begins to type out an explanation, "Wamp, no furries are allowed on the server today." Suddenly, Riftoff *wait for applause* sends Angry a message, "Don't tell him furries aren't allowed, I've got a better idea." Angry calls Wamp back up, "Sorry dude, you can't join the main server until you find out the true meaning of Christmas." "And how will I do that?" "I don't know, ask someone wise."

Wamp Rats was befuddled, "Who would I ask for the true meaning of Christmas?" Insight came to him quickly, "I know I'll ask Riftoff! He knows all about that shit" Riftoff was killing people with his as a heavy with the sweatervest bear skin. "So you want to know the true meaning of Christmas, eh? Well fuck that Jesus shit, it's all about Santa" "Santa isn't real, you faggot" "That's funny considering he used to play on this server all the time." "Haha", Wamp Rats laughed sarcastically. "He used to go by the name Plastic Jesus" in a nearly grave tone. “This is a weakass troll.” "Ever notice how Plastic would disappear around Christmas Eve?" "Alright even you aren't joking, Plastic hates me." Wamp Rats said dejectedly. "Well too bad for you" Riftoff mocked. "But," Riftoff being never one to disappoint "I hear you can get on Santa's good side by doing ten good deeds before Christmas Eve, preferably for his old friends on cC" Wamp Rats pondered this for a moment, "Ten good deeds for other cCs just to get on the main server, fuck that!" Wamp looked over at the server list. All the servers were locked for the Christmas season, except for one. Wamp Rats eyed the cC Funmaps server [Presents/Breakfloor/Dave Cook]. Images of the 12 days of Breakfloor passed by his eyes. Memories of twelve year old children playing LEROY JENKINS for the hundredth time passed by his ears. "Ugggh.", Wamp mimiced the sound of a small dying mammal. He hovered his mouse over the connect button and clicked.

Welp.

[Guy Montag]

Update: Other possible titles are "A Calculated Christmas" and "A Very Merry Yiffmas"

[PhrozenFlame]

I vote the last option, just because it sounds so damn funny when you say it out loud.

Also, for his last deed, Wamp has to assist hellfire get over his TF2 problems.

[Sastora]

I like a Calculated Christmas.

[Joe's Crab Shack]

Wamp: We chose you because I asked "Who's the most like Charlie Brown?"

Crab Shack: For fuck's sakes, take the goddamn 'trial' out of your name and be forward about it. Also, in regards to the whole reindeer thing, I am hoping we manage to go throughout all of this without fursuits.

UPDATE: Our expert writer, Riftoff, has agreed to write the script for the Wamp's Terrible Christmas Adventure (working title). Although thinking of clever songs to capture the true spirit of this gaming community will be tough, I have the utmost of confidence in him after reading his fanfiction.

I took it out already, take a pill bud.

And not fursuits, just ears and a tail, like playboy bunnies, but reindeer.

[Wamp Rats]

Judging by our past expiriences this is just gonna turn into some half-assed script, if it'sa full one, it won't be actually made, just used to make fun of me, and the absolute ebst case scenario is we actually MAKE it, and it turns out to be good