Not a dealer was good, not even with something shitty.
The baggies were left by the scales with care,
In hopes that St. Cannabis soon would be there.
The Stoners were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of dank bud danced in their heads;
And Kitty, returning inside through the cat flap
Had just settled down for an April night's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away from the window I sprang like The Flash
And carefully went to hide my personal stash.
But much to my dismay, I had smoked it all,
And for some reason could not recall...
When what should appear from behind the veranda,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny pandas!
And a driver with such liveliness and speed,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Weed.
More rapid than microwave burritos his pandas they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name,
"Now Nachos! now, Zeppelin! now Hash Pipe and MJ!
On, Hippie, on Smokey! on, Slurpee and Buffet!
High as the porch! high as the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
So up to the house-top the pandas they flew,
With sleigh full of weed, and St. Cannabis too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard above the ceiling
Eight little panda bears pawing and squealing.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Cannabis came with a bound.
He was dressed all in hemp, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A big sack of weed he had flung over his dread locks
And he looked like a peddler trying to get to Woodstock.
His eyeballs were red, his eyebrows were hairy,
His cheeks were like Skittles, his nose like a cherry!
The stump of a pipe he held in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a round little belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly (mmm, jelly).
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old guy,
And I laughed when I saw him because I was high;
A wink of his eye and a bag full of weed
Soon gave me to know I was no longer in need;
He spoke not a word but went straight to work
And filled all the baggies, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to give his team a toke,
And away they all flew like a puff of smoke.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy 4/20 to all, and to all a good-night."
