Him

[Bishop]

I've been lying down for hours now. It's 5:35 AM and there's not much I can do. You know what the worst part about my situation is? I'm in the same room with my parents. They keep looking at me, and I can't help but look back and try not to cry or scream. Their eyes are focused on me and their mouths are wide open. There's the strong scent of blood and I feel paralyzed with fear.

Here's the thing, the second i make any hint that I'm not asleep anymore, I'm completely fucked. I will die and there's nobody around to save me. I've been trying to think of a way out but the only idea I have is to rush for the door and run outside the front door and scream for help, hoping my neighbors hear me. It's risky, but if i stay here, I'll surely die. He's waiting for me to wake up and see his masterpiece.

You're probably wondering what's going on, I get ahead of myself sometimes.

About three hours ago, I heard screaming from the other side of the house, I got up and went to check on the noise before realizing I had to use the restroom, instead of doing the smart thing and investigating, I used the bathroom first. I could've gotten myself killed right then from my stupid actions. But I actually did my business and took a peek outside the bathroom. There was blood on the carpet. I got very worried and ran back to my room, hiding under my sheets like the pussy I was. I tried to convince myself to go back to sleep, that it was just some really vivid dream or something.

But I heard the bathroom door open. Like the terrified child I was, I peeked from under my blankets to see what was going on. I could see something dragging my dead parents into the room. It was not human, I can tel you that. It was hairless, with no eyes and no clothing, it walked like a caveman, with its back slouched as it dragged my parents. But this thing was much smarter than any caveman. It was aware of what it was doing.

It propped my dad up on the edge of my bed, and made him face me. It then sat my mother down in the chair and positioned her towards me as well. It then started rubbing its hands upon the wall, staining them with blood and then drew a circle with the devil's pentagram on it. This thing had made what it probably would call a masterpiece. To finish it off, it scribbled a message onto the wall that I could not read in the darkness.

It then positioned itself under my bed, waiting to strike.

The scariest thing now, my eyes have adjusted to the darkness since then and I can read the message on the wall. I don't want to look at it, because it's terrifying to think about. But I feel I need to see, before I'm killed.

I peek at the creature's masterpiece.

"I know you're awake."

[_Pipeline]

It's good. As a whole the pacing and flow of the text is a bit rushed, and although from the narrator's emotional perspective is a bit limited and stale (in my opinion), what you have written is nonetheless of good quality, and lives up to (what I presume to be) its intentionally disturbing nature to the reader.

Don't take my mere opinion for granted if you disagree. I used to write a fuckload of prose on a daily basis in ancient times, and when I see someone write something good (for whatever reason), I often find myself having to dissect it as fully as possible.

My only question is: what is it doing here?

[Opium]

Aside from the devil's pentegram cliche I really enjoyed the horror images and enjoyed trying to piece together the creature's appearance and motivation. It seems there is something more to the story, unless you just want to leave the reader with a jolt, "oh holy crap".

As for myself, I'm glad I'm getting new underwear tomorrow anyway.

[Burnerman]

what

[Haunwulf]

This is a pretty interesting story, It'd be cool if you continued this if possible.- I barely had anytime to read this since the day it was posted until now. And I'm glad I actually decided to read it.

[Noah]

I've been lying down for hours now. It's 5:35 AM and there's not much I can do. You know what the worst part about my situation is? I'm in the same room with my parents. They keep looking at me, and I can't help but look back and try not to cry or scream. Their eyes are focused on me and their mouths are wide open. There's the strong scent of blood and I feel paralyzed with fear.

Here's the thing, the second i make any hint that I'm not asleep anymore, I'm completely fucked. I will die and there's nobody around to save me. I've been trying to think of a way out but the only idea I have is to rush for the door and run outside the front door and scream for help, hoping my neighbors hear me. It's risky, but if i stay here, I'll surely die. He's waiting for me to wake up and see his masterpiece.

You're probably wondering what's going on, I get ahead of myself sometimes.

About three hours ago, I heard screaming from the other side of the house, I got up and went to check on the noise before realizing I had to use the restroom, instead of doing the smart thing and investigating, I used the bathroom first. I could've gotten myself killed right then from my stupid actions. But I actually did my business and took a peek outside the bathroom. There was blood on the carpet. I got very worried and ran back to my room, hiding under my sheets like the pussy I was. I tried to convince myself to go back to sleep, that it was just some really vivid dream or something.

But I heard the bathroom door open. Like the terrified child I was, I peeked from under my blankets to see what was going on. I could see something dragging my dead parents into the room. It was not human, I can tel you that. It was hairless, with no eyes and no clothing, it walked like a caveman, with its back slouched as it dragged my parents. But this thing was much smarter than any caveman. It was aware of what it was doing.

It propped my dad up on the edge of my bed, and made him face me. It then sat my mother down in the chair and positioned her towards me as well. It then started rubbing its hands upon the wall, staining them with blood and then drew a circle with the devil's pentagram on it. This thing had made what it probably would call a masterpiece. To finish it off, it scribbled a message onto the wall that I could not read in the darkness.

It then positioned itself under my bed, waiting to strike.

The scariest thing now, my eyes have adjusted to the darkness since then and I can read the message on the wall. I don't want to look at it, because it's terrifying to think about. But I feel I need to see, before I'm killed.

I peek at the creature's masterpiece.


"I know you're awake."

Awesome.

[Haunwulf]

Why would you quote it :l

[MrKerplunkers]

Feel good hit of the summer.

[krubby]

Feel good hit of the summer.

it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. so do the tapeworms...

[EpicMattHax]

Should make this a creepy pasta. :P