Calculated Chaos Magic: The Gathering cards

[Guy Montag]

Made with a handy program I found somewhere on the interwebs. The humour of them can only be fully understood if you've played the game or know how it works, but regardless you'll probably find them amusing.

More to come with time.

[genie]

Haha! I'm very amused.

[PhrozenFlame]

I wonder what Warmonger's card would look like...

[Wamp Rats]

Warmonger would be an over-powered fuck nugget

And i request guy not make a card of me, because i know the hate will flow

[DracoZilla]

r u gonna make a card for me :3

[Liquid Death]

Awesome work guy

[Riftoff]

[Joe's Crab Shack]

I like, i await mine.

[Guy Montag]

MOAR, including the much-anticipated Warmonger!

[VillageSavant]

Very Epic

[giggles]

-snip-

[Toastyking]

Derp, that is gonna be my spray.

[PhrozenFlame]

cC Set Three should contain Cap, Aus, and Divine.

Divine's should have something to do with reason.

[Guy Montag]

Set 3 is ready, featuring the most powerful card of the block, Captain Angry! Also included are formidable Auslander, miscellaneous Joe's Crab Shack, republican Gabe, and arguably the most directly powerful creature, Wamp Rats!

[Guy Montag]

Apparently there's a 3 image limit per post or something.

[Wamp Rats]

I lol'd

[captainAngry]

I lol'ed

[z0th]

1/1 beard token. heh.

[Äusländer]

I am Auslander, and I approve of this post. Montag; you are "win" in my book.

[Guy Montag]

1/1 beard token. heh.

9/9, 10/10 due to his +1/+1 rule.

Have you fucking seen his beard? I'm serious, I'm not sure if Captain is a man with a beard or a beard with a man.

[MrKerplunkers]

This is me being amused

[PhrozenFlame]

I'm anxious for set 4's release and hope I'm in it.

Then again, I have no memorable quotes and no decent class.

[Ex-PFC Wintergreen]

If I may make a request I would like a gypsy joe, duckwalk, and katie in the next batch

[D34THSPAWN]

wheres MIIIINE?

[Liquid Death]

Yes. Warmonger only takes one plain to spawn.

[Guy Montag]

Yes. Warmonger only takes one plain to spawn.

Mountain. And yes, everyone costs one, partly because I hate balancing mana costs and partly because I just want the cards to either be red or blu (as in the in-game teams). Captain is gold to drive home the OMFGWTFBBQ-ness of it.

On an unrelated note, keep in mind I have trouble making cards for everyone as I can't think of a distinctive gimmick for everyone. Toasty goes around wrenching people, Captain's the server overlord, Jesus rages... There has to be a funny thing I can translate into amusing rules.

i.e., Wintergreen. I've played with you. I know you. I can't think of a clever card for you though.

A good way to inspire is TO PLAY ON THE GODDAMN SERVER MORE OFTEN.

anyway, MOAR CARDS TOMORROW

[z0th]

a beard with a man.

QFT.

[arkawn]

damnit i thought i was going to show off my giant collection itt

[PhrozenFlame]

Yes. Warmonger only takes one plain to spawn.

Mountain. And yes, everyone costs one, partly because I hate balancing mana costs and partly because I just want the cards to either be red or blu (as in the in-game teams). Captain is gold to drive home the OMFGWTFBBQ-ness of it.

On an unrelated note, keep in mind I have trouble making cards for everyone as I can't think of a distinctive gimmick for everyone. Toasty goes around wrenching people, Captain's the server overlord, Jesus rages... There has to be a funny thing I can translate into amusing rules.

i.e., Wintergreen. I've played with you. I know you. I can't think of a clever card for you though.

A good way to inspire is TO PLAY ON THE GODDAMN SERVER MORE OFTEN.

anyway, MOAR CARDS TOMORROW

Hopefully, we've played together/known each other long enough for me to get something cool.

[Guy Montag]

Ha! No.