Twilight

Unread post by **Wamp Rats** » 19 Nov 2009, 12:25

We all know that it is evil, and has digraced the vampire genre.

I would like to bring to your attention the glory of destroying a copy of either twilight or new moon and the good it brings to the world.

Whenever you go out and purchase a copy (God bless your sole you aren't damned right on the spot) You must purchase it with good intentions for the graceful act you shall comit. Also, make sure the money used to pay for the copy has been blessed by a local preist or bishop.

When it comes to destroying the book, there is an indefinite amount of ways to do it. But the most recommended is burning it (At night so the faggot inside doesn't sparkle) Or shooting it point-blank with a shotgun (Any bullets will do since the faggot inside is hardly a vampire)

What you will witness is the most glorious and heart-lifting event i have ever felt. The book with burn into ashes (No matter what, since it is unholy) and the tormented souls inside (The hag that they call an author harvests the souls of the broken and meek in spirit and locks them away in each copy) will be freed out and float into the heavens where they will be granted eternal rest for their suffering.

Once all is said and done, the harms to the vampire genre will be lifted in small portion for that copy. You must kneel down over the ashes and say a prayer. "Lord in heaven, curse the faggot that sparkles in the sun instead of burning, and curse the bitch that wrote this book. I pray to you to smite them with all your wrath, and forgive the humans of their error."

Then you will make the sign of the cross, if you have done the instructions to the exact point, inside the ashes will be a true salvation to vampires. You will grasp it and lift your hands up saying "Praise the lord!" In your hands, your own, holy, soul-saving hands, will be a pack of the blade trinity on blue ray or DVD, given your respective media player.

Unread post by **D34THSPAWN** » 19 Nov 2009, 07:55

very nice, i have to agree...even though i am taking Lacey to the new movie next week :-/ think of it this way i go to learn more about our enemy, and to suck up to her :P

Unread post by **thedoghouse** » 19 Nov 2009, 07:59

what I find kinda funny is the fact that if it wasn't famous, nobody would care how much it sucks, but they had the book come out, the females loved it, made a movie about 1-3 weeks later, and a few months later, here comes the second movie =/.

Unread post by **Sastora** » 19 Nov 2009, 11:11

While I'm letting you have your say, I must disagree. I've read all the books seen the movie and in fact seeing the new one tonight with Goose's mom and a few others. I'm not (Ew, I'm watching animal planet and a Giraffe is giving birth but back to the subject)like one of those super obsessed fans but I will admit the books were decent BECAUSE they were easy to relate to. The girl was clumsy not super pretty, kinda like most chicks think they are and all the girls want their dream man I guess or maybe its because they sparkle? C: I don't know, the movie sucked and I'm seeing if this one does or not too.

I can understand people hating it if they were super big vampire fans because Twilight and True Blood kinda put a damper on the awesomeness of them, but most people hate the book because its such a huge thing and because everyone is obsessed with it. The same thing happened with me and Harry Potter, I hated it because thats all everyone talked about and then on a trip to Colorado I read it on the way and now I'm a big nerd about it. (God thats so weird! I don't think I can walk around with my babies legs hanging out of me...)

Have you even read it Wamp? 'Cause if you have then I can understand why you are dogging on it so bad.

Stoov · Unread post by **Stoov** » 19 Nov 2009, 01:11

I'm a vampire, and I glitter in the sunlight. Oh, no, I don't burst into flames, none of that pansy shit; I'm a MAN, and I fucking glitter.

Unread post by **MrKerplunkers** » 19 Nov 2009, 02:49

Look at it this way; with all of the vampire hype we may see a return of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

A man can dream.....

Unread post by **g_e_oos** » 19 Nov 2009, 02:54

First off, Stoov, you win. On the other hand, Jacquie just owned all you with her ADD post.

Unread post by **l@cE21cEyBLU** » 19 Nov 2009, 04:02

first off matt...your not getting any bonus points for it now..and we are going with YOUR best friend who is male remember that:P
And im with sastora on this.. and im sure tons of people will be like well your a girl all girls love the movies and the books because its a love story and you think that guy is hot!! but i think the guy who is in that movie is sooo ugly and sue me if a like a good book...all the hype from these books are making people hate them. and how all the girls are like OMG VAMPIRES I WANT ONE!!! which is just stupid. i read the first book forever ago and it was actually pretty good. really entertaining and really well done. some of it was a little weird, like the vampires being all sparkly, but still good and not all of the books are good the last one completely sucks ass. I'm not some huge super fan or anything so im not going to the midnight showing, and the first movie REALLY sucked. but this movie actaully looks like it is actually goign to be good so i'm going to see it.

Unread post by **bluephyr** » 19 Nov 2009, 04:33

The word "Twilight" used to be cool.
(Preferably in the sense of the town you visited in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door)

Stoov · Unread post by **Stoov** » 19 Nov 2009, 04:39

I know plenty of girls who hate the books. But for those numbers there are at least triple who I can just LOOK at who adore it. The books have been wildly successful, but honestly, other than the teen-age middle school girls who go nuts over vampires, I don't really understand it's success. Vampires glitter in the motherfucking sunlight, it's ridiculous, and the werewolves aren't even werewolves, they're people that turn into wolves; that's right, they're fucking Animorphs. Animorphs, people. So they completely defile vampires, they rip off Animorphs, which were awesome when I was a kid, AND, isn't the main character, Bella, like 17? And isn't the main vampire dude, Edward, like, in his hundreds, at least? Pedophilia, anyone? I've seen like half of the first movie. The amount of angst nearly killed me. I could go into more depth about why I dislike the books, but I've ranted enough.

Unread post by **l@cE21cEyBLU** » 19 Nov 2009, 04:54

so can't things be done differently once in a while? and big whoop if he is so much older then her he IS a vampire and she is human. it's part of the story line.

Unread post by **Sastora** » 19 Nov 2009, 05:26

Lol, Yeah and besides he was turned when he was 17 and that shouldn't even have to be factored into the movie anyways.
Um, the whole sunlight thing IS ridiculous I agree.
The werewolf thing, in the book its about an Indian tribe turning into wolves so they didn't have to make them werewolves anyways. So I just killed that point also.
In the movie the main Vampire Edwards was so stupid!! He always looked like he was going to cry, I cracked up every time.

Unread post by **Wamp Rats** » 19 Nov 2009, 05:47

This book is a disgrace, it is not about vampires and it has nothing to do with them. It is targeted directly to the female youth and it hit the hammer on the head. If he were a true vampire he would have sucked that girls blood right out of her retarded neck when they first met.

Also, i know it's been said, BUT VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE

Whatever kind of odd creature she was basing this book off of it sure as hell wasn't a vampire. It's stretching it to say that they can walk in direct sunlight. Sorry girls, but most guys that sparkle aren't into chicks all that much.

Unread post by **captainAngry** » 19 Nov 2009, 05:56

Watching this movie with one person familiar with the story and 5 stoners with no interest in the story was absolutely hilarious.

This movie series is MST2K style commentary gold.

Stoov · Unread post by **Stoov** » 19 Nov 2009, 05:58

Indian Tribe that can turn into wolves, eh? That may disprove the werewolf point, if only slightly, but it still doesn't change the fact that they ripped off animorphs. And I don't care when he was turned, you don't age, but you still live (sort of). I don't care how timeless you are, if you've lived for 700 years, you're 700 years old.

Unread post by **Sastora** » 19 Nov 2009, 06:06

Once again Wamp, did you read the book?

Did you know that I am Legend was about Vampires too? And what about the movie Blade? He could walk out in the sun light because he was half vampire. You can start with one small relative idea and break it off into something else. Like in each zombie movie and games they are different from each other. The basis of a vampire is that they live forever and they drink blood and that is how the author also made it in the book. And instead of them burning from the sunlight she made them sparkle so that he can be more in the story, even though its stupid.

And I'm okay with the whole werewolf thing.It really isn't that big of a deal and neither is the age thing. People date older and younger people all the time. Time is irrelevant, it would be different if she was like 10 years old or something then I could understand but she isn't, she is 17 and in the second book she turns 18 I think so she is an adult and can make her own decisions.

Wait? Nothing has to make sense wanna know why?! Because its not real.

Unread post by **l@cE21cEyBLU** » 19 Nov 2009, 06:23

have you read the books? seen the movie?
i mean you can't really judge something until you do.. and she did not take the animorph thing..there are people in movie and books who change into animals all the time.,..it's not the first time something like that has been done. there are different versions of vampires in every movie, some of them more far fetched then others but vampires nonetheless. They all have the same general concepts, just tweaked. if the him being sparkly thing is the only thing you have to complain about then thats really nothing.
The whole age thing is stupid. your turning it into something it's not. he was turned into a vampire when he was 17 so he will be that way forever and she is turned when she is 18 so she will be that way forever. does it make a difference if they are both vampires?

the book may have been made for young girls, but it has clearly grown bigger then that. "boys" in college are reading it as well as adults of both genders. Now they may not be as obsessed as some girls are but you know what to each their own. some girls are like hey there is a fantastic guy why can't i get one like him? guys do the same things with supermodels you drool after them. the book is a love story yes, but have you ever watched a chick flick? same thing.

But like sas said..none of its real so why does it matter?

Unread post by **PhrozenFlame** » 19 Nov 2009, 06:24

I have to agree with Wamp here. I can't even mention the words "Twilight" (WHICH IS A TIME OF DAY) or "New Moon" (WHICH IS WHEN THE MOON DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE FUCKING SKY) in public without having 5 random chicks run up to me squealing at the top if their lungs and start trying to initiate a conversation about "How hot Edward is" or "If Belle is gonna marry him".

Really, all this series has done is ruin a time of day and a phrase.

Unread post by **Sastora** » 19 Nov 2009, 06:30

Haha, Phrozen. C: Silly silly, I've never had that happen and yet I don't really ever talk about it until this conversation popped up.

Unread post by **g_e_oos** » 19 Nov 2009, 07:07

Okay... I'm going to regret this but I have to say my piece. The movie from what I actually didn't zone out, sucked. I did not read the books. That being said, all the people on here screaming that this ruined vampires? Vampires weren't that exciting in the first place. I loved the movie The Lost Boys, and I like some other vamp movies, but Twilight isn't a vampire movie! The setting is vampires but the story is the tried and true method of making girls weep with happiness.

As for the argument about they are vamps, I agree with my girlfriend. Every vampire series has it's own version of a vampire. Whether they burst into flames, melt, dance the disco while they sparkle, it's all just different takes on the same story.

Stoov · Unread post by **Stoov** » 19 Nov 2009, 08:35

Would you date someone hundreds of years older than you just because he was a sad excuse for a vampire? I can sum up another retarded part of the movie in three words: They play baseball. They even don uniforms. Ugh. And I totally don't care, they ripped off Animorphs. And I Am Legend was loosely based on vampires. I've read the book, and I don't remember it actually saying vampires anywhere. Then again, it's been a while.

Unread post by **l@cE21cEyBLU** » 19 Nov 2009, 08:57

well we know you have seen the movie...oh my god baseball!!!oh no!!! thats never been done in movies before either!!! you sure have a thing against that vampire..perhaps jealous of all the attention girls give the guy? and they did not rip off animorphs...seriously how many times has people turning into animals been done in movies? hell harry potter has people changing into animal did that rip it off too?

Unread post by **Wamp Rats** » 19 Nov 2009, 09:04

I will never read the book, it can be summed with 'Bad writing and breaking away from vampire tradition'

Oh woe is the sad little emo vampire kid! Oh woe is the retarded girl in love with him!

*Vomits*

Unread post by **Hanzo_blade** » 19 Nov 2009, 09:22

I work at a movie theater... And tonight we are showing a midnight show of Twilight... and 5 theaters have already sold out. I hate twilight cause of this... lol busy work.

FIVE THEATRES. At once. (My movie is a restaurant/theatre)

Unread post by **PhrozenFlame** » 19 Nov 2009, 09:36

l@cE21cEyBLU wrote:well we know you have seen the movie...oh my god baseball!!!oh no!!! thats never been done in movies before either!!! you sure have a thing against that vampire..perhaps jealous of all the attention girls give the guy? and they did not rip off animorphs...seriously how many times has people turning into animals been done in movies? hell harry potter has people changing into animal did that rip it off too?

It's just that Vampire Movie+Baseball=WTF IS DIZ SHIT

l@cE21cEyBLU wrote:well we know you have seen the movie...oh my god baseball!!!oh no!!! thats never been done in movies before either!!! you sure have a thing against that vampire..perhaps jealous of all the attention girls give the guy? and they did not rip off animorphs...seriously how many times has people turning into animals been done in movies? hell harry potter has people changing into animal did that rip it off too?

Did you just say this dude is desperate? I'll bet you any money he'd rather live like he is now than be some SUPA EMO "Vampire"(Using vampire VERY loosely here) with 900,000,000 screaming fangirls that would sell his clothes on eBay.

Unread post by **giggles** » 19 Nov 2009, 10:01

Stoov wrote:I'm a vampire, and I glitter in the sunlight. Oh, no, I don't burst into flames, none of that pansy shit; I'm a MAN, and I fucking glitter.

i wanna go see the second movie, just so i have the right to SAY that is sucked ...or not. xD
the first was terrible D: jacob's wig looked SO fake. well it is fake but mehh...

good book until a buncha 12 year olds started reading it. D: i wonder how parent react to 12 year olds reading the honey moon part in the last book .___.

Unread post by **Divine Fate** » 19 Nov 2009, 10:36

Wamp Rats wrote:It is targeted directly to the female youth and it hit the hammer on the head.

So far the only arguments against Wamp were made by the female youth, thus proving his point entirely. You tried to stop him, but the fact that you did supported him. Funny how that works.

Unread post by **Wamp Rats** » 19 Nov 2009, 10:44

*Victory pose*

In-advertant victory

Unread post by **Ex-PFC Wintergreen** » 19 Nov 2009, 10:51

Children need to read books that are actually good and horizon broadening. My top ten: Dubliners by James Joyce, 1984 by George Orwell, Enders Game by Orson Scott Card, The Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Salinger, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy By Douglas Adams, Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut, and Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.

Yeah, I know that at least three of those are dystopian novels but I like dystopian novels.

Unread post by **D34THSPAWN** » 19 Nov 2009, 11:28

and one thing that sas said totally proved MY point, Twilight totally ruined EVERY other vampire book ever, i mean i will never be able to read any series other than anything by Barb and J.C. Hendee mostly because i already know their writing is good, and I have to say, that no i have not read them, however with everything i have heard about them i have to say i do not look forward to reading them...and i'm sorry to all you fans (lacey and sas) but blade, and underworld still stomp twilight.

calculatedChaos Gaming

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