Government class is serious business
Posted: 25 Jan 2011, 06:28
The back story behind my government assignment was, draw a depiction of why the articles of confederation were flawed. So naturally, I drew a toaster, labeled "Articles of Confederation". Next to it, I drew a massive flaming, jewel encrusted serrated blade, labeled "The US constitution". We then had to write a brief explanation. Here is that explanation.
"The Northern Blade of Flaming Murder Death is wielded by the all powerful Lord Death of Murder Mountain. Lord death was cast down from hi rightful place on Mount murder by the rest of the murder gods by the king. King Face-gore death killer feared that lord death was too powerful, he was killing too many people, saving none for the rest, and making everyone look bad. He said, to quote "You need to go to earth and kill people now" And lord death responded "OK".
As a parting wish however, he asked to be granted a chariot and a weapon for his descent to mortality and earth. The weapon smith of mount murder, Sir Buzz-saw Rocket Cock, crafted the blade of which we speak out of unicorn horns and centaur hooves. His chariot was lashed together from the bone of 23.8 platy pi, and pulled by a team of genetically mutated Tasmanian devils. These devils were engineered by the master scientist, Doctor Science PhD Nim Crush Rod.
They then threw our hero a very nice going away party, where he scored some sweet tail and bid farewell to his home. He descended upon the earth while it was still Pangaea, and he thought that was kind of gay, so he used his blade to split the continents apart, as we see today. He then saw the dinosaurs, and deemed them kind of lame, and gave them a royal thrashing. Alas, he thrashed them too hard, and he made them extinct.
He had depleted much of his power, so he took a nap, for a few million years. When he awoke, he was in the newly founded 13 colonies. He scoped out the founding fathers and saw they were writing some shit down. Lord death then approached them and asked if he may proof read their papers. He read it and declared the papers "Full on gay balls". So he thrashed the documents, and thrashed the fathers. A royal thrashing they did receive. When they recovered from their thrashing, Thomas Jefferson noticed something amiss with his rear. He asked a nurse to check it, and it was a new set of documents. The founding fathers read from Jefferson's ass, and found a new constitution for their nation as a whole. So they then copied it on paper, and went to thank Lord Death.
Alas, our hero had vanished. He cracked a hole so deep in the sea that it would not be found for hundreds of years. He lay in the Mariana Trench, waiting for the day we fuck up again, so he may thrash us, and fix it."
"The Northern Blade of Flaming Murder Death is wielded by the all powerful Lord Death of Murder Mountain. Lord death was cast down from hi rightful place on Mount murder by the rest of the murder gods by the king. King Face-gore death killer feared that lord death was too powerful, he was killing too many people, saving none for the rest, and making everyone look bad. He said, to quote "You need to go to earth and kill people now" And lord death responded "OK".
As a parting wish however, he asked to be granted a chariot and a weapon for his descent to mortality and earth. The weapon smith of mount murder, Sir Buzz-saw Rocket Cock, crafted the blade of which we speak out of unicorn horns and centaur hooves. His chariot was lashed together from the bone of 23.8 platy pi, and pulled by a team of genetically mutated Tasmanian devils. These devils were engineered by the master scientist, Doctor Science PhD Nim Crush Rod.
They then threw our hero a very nice going away party, where he scored some sweet tail and bid farewell to his home. He descended upon the earth while it was still Pangaea, and he thought that was kind of gay, so he used his blade to split the continents apart, as we see today. He then saw the dinosaurs, and deemed them kind of lame, and gave them a royal thrashing. Alas, he thrashed them too hard, and he made them extinct.
He had depleted much of his power, so he took a nap, for a few million years. When he awoke, he was in the newly founded 13 colonies. He scoped out the founding fathers and saw they were writing some shit down. Lord death then approached them and asked if he may proof read their papers. He read it and declared the papers "Full on gay balls". So he thrashed the documents, and thrashed the fathers. A royal thrashing they did receive. When they recovered from their thrashing, Thomas Jefferson noticed something amiss with his rear. He asked a nurse to check it, and it was a new set of documents. The founding fathers read from Jefferson's ass, and found a new constitution for their nation as a whole. So they then copied it on paper, and went to thank Lord Death.
Alas, our hero had vanished. He cracked a hole so deep in the sea that it would not be found for hundreds of years. He lay in the Mariana Trench, waiting for the day we fuck up again, so he may thrash us, and fix it."