calculatedChaos Gaming

> meets comisar and shakes his hand firmly that it explodes

>Use shotgun on self to leave Cyberpunk.

>noclip to top of tallest building in cyberpunk

>crash server and play some pacman

You aren't entirely sure what NOCLIP is or how to do it, and you would prefer to not waste shotgun boolets, or......crash the world.

>Travel to rainbow

This change of scenery looks promising, it could only get better after this place's bright colours and loud music.


You're pretty sure the sign means Rainbow, must have been some SCOOT who made the sign.





Wel---- FUCK SAKE

You have no idea what CRUSHINATOR means, but that doesn't really matter, everything is spinny and bright anyways.

>Find Snopor, and as him how to leave.

You found your old buddy SNOPOR, you know, after crashing into him at high speeds due to the spinny things.

He, as well, has no idea where the exit is.

You have one girly face there, bud.

Maybe the spinny thing wasn't the best to talk on, everything is all blurry.

>rave to "sandstorm" playing on loop

You and SNOPOR dance the night away to Sandstorm. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ejm6jn9AFA0

You have very little arm mass, so you opt to do a jig, SNOPOR throws his hat to be less constraint by clothing.

Snopor has gone up +1 VEST SIZE

>use SNOPOR to kill ENGONOOR
>add HEMOT to inv

>steal snopor's sideburn

The bright colours and trippyness must be getting to you, what ONGONOOR?

You steal ONE of SNOPORS GLORIOUS SIDEBURNS, and wear it as a moustache.

> Use moustache and return to mother land, run an opposed election before killing your major competition, in an "accident" then create the NUSSR, but then the whole thing collapses beneath you, and you meet your old pal MODOC.

This could have ended better, you didn't even find MODOC.

SNOPOR is still bleeding from when you took his sideburn, and a chunk of his ear.

> Find SPAH and use his passport to travel to Japan

>OBJECTIVE OF GAME

You feel the sudden urge to travel to Japan, you know that SPAH has a PASSPORT for ROGUE-ISH types.


You set off on your adventure.




You take out the map you got while doing that 2 year long run in Moscow.

This is the worst map ever, you are pretty sure you are the red star.

You angrily ask the horde of birds "WHICH ONE OF YOU EES CRYING!"

Guy Montag wrote:>OBJECTIVE OF GAME

FIND MODOC is the first objective.

>Angrily ponder who wrote in yellow crayon on the bright-colored MAP, then turn to SNOPOR, wondering whether JARDATEE was involved.

>Go to car

It turns out what you thought was a car on the map was actually a large statue of a hat.

What the fuck, man.

> Attach wheels to hat
> Push hat and set off on adventure to find MODOC and travel to Japan with SPAH

>stop by romen restaurant and eat some noodles
> shoot the romen clerk with shootgun so you dont have to pay

This fucked up adventure logic is pissing you off.

RaginAsian wrote:>stop by romen restaurant and eat some noodles
> shoot the romen clerk with shootgun so you dont have to pay

No one said anything about a restaurant of the noodly variety, you're in the middle of Russia.

They eat bears, seals, and poodles.

bluephyr wrote:They eat bears, seals, and poodles.

Thou speaketh thy truths.

>Use car to go to Moscow & have a romantic seal dinner with Snopor.
Maybe Modoc will get jealous and show up.

You're pretty sure that all of Moscow hates you, and that is a wooden cutout of a giant stone hat on two large stone spheres.